Prince Charming to Prince Failure
by JunidiAppleseed
Summary: Bianca and Lucentio plan to rid of Hortensio's interest in Bianca by making-out in front of him. Unfortunately, Lucentio's wife enters instead - Lucentio failed to mention he had a wife. Bianca, then, leaves Lucentio but Lucentio still wants Bianca, so Lucentio tries to convince Petrucio to forget about marrying Katerina to prevent any suitor from marrying Bianca.
1. Scene 1

Petruchio announces he and his new fiancée, Katherina, will be married by Sunday morn, ending Act 2 Scene 1. Meanwhile, Lucentio, disguised as a Latin tutor, successfully woos Bianca before Hortensio, disguised as a music tutor, is given a chance to woo her for himself. Bianca leaves to help her father prepare for her sister's' wedding; directly after this, Bianca eagerly returns to Lucentio, disguised as a Latin tutor. The two manage to be alone together in the garden.

Bianca and the real Lucentio endlessly flirt with each other, center stage, instead of studying Latin. Tranio, still disguised, suddenly interrupts them with a firm expression. "Tranio!," said Lucentio with surprise, "What be your reason to barge so abruptly."

"Lucentio," said Tranio, "the swain returns again with plans of ruin."

"If thou speakest truth, we shall shoo him with firm embrace. Now begone."

Tranio exits. Lucentio and Bianca look at one another passionately until they begin to hear footsteps echoing from the nearest corridor. The love-birds start making-out madly. As the echoes come closer, to the couple's surprise, a stranger appears stage right.

"This must be a dream, a nightmare" the stranger said with dismay.

"Nerissa?" said Lucentio with shock.

"You were to travel the world yet you leave me for a whoremonger."

"Who are you to invade to invade my home and insult me so?"

"I am the wife of this filth you see here" the wife responded.

Everyone is in shock. Lucentio failed to mention he has a wife. Nerissa continues to rage at her eventual ex-husband while Lucentio attempts to calm her down. Seeing all this dramatic foolery, Bianca covers her face with her hands in utter confusion and exits stage left. "Bianca, no," said Lucentio with angst as he quickly followed her with his wife tracking him. Tranio enters the garden stage right wearing a conniving expression on his face.

"I have rid of thy master, cunning and foolish. For

So long I have been the meager man of his wing

But no, no more. No more will thy face meet his

Feet that rests on the ground. Quickly, he hath

No knowledge of thy schemes, I will take Bianca with

A swift hand as my wife. Oh fairest Bianca, whose eyes

Pierce the heavens with flawless beauty and grace."

Tranio exits the garden, proceeding with his clandestine plan to expel his instructor, Lucentio.

When Bianca exits her father's house, the bickering former couple follows. No pedestrians are walking the streets; the three characters are the only ones present. Nerissa continues to yell crudities at her husband as she throws large and small objects at him. Wooden stools, chairs, clay pots, Lucentio dodges all her lousy throws and attempts to calm her with a scold's bridle. Proving to be nearly as shrewish as Katherine, Nerissa forces the bridle away from her and swinging its sharp ends towards Lucentio. Stunned beyond belief, Bianca is astonished by Lucentio's choice of strategy to calm his wife; she realizes Lucentio has a completely different side in his heart and discreetly, but quickly, evades the scene stage left.

"Bianca? Bianca?," said Lucentio with confusion.

"Be still ruffian," shrieks Nerissa with vengeance.

As Lucentio's saucy-mouthed wife grips his neck, he manages to pull Nerissa away from him, tossing her halfway across the stage, causing her to fall on her head, knocking her out. Lucentio, having lost Bianca and seeing his former wife lying on the ground, feels the grip of insanity for a short moment. Lucentio holds Nerissa in his arms, dreadfully says a couplet, and exits the stage.


	2. Scene 2

Lucentio manages to get his act together and chooses not to give-up on Bianca. He decides to give Bianca breathing-room before apologizing; he devises a plan to look for Petruchio in Venice to convince him not to marry Katherina. If successful, Lucentio can prevent other suitors from wooing her: as an aside, Lucentio tells the audience that women who are feeble and weak-minded are easier to woo as opposed to egotistical women who grow old before having the chance to marry.

He leaves Nerissa in the hospital. The scene begins with Petruchio haggling for old garbs from an apparel merchant. There are many residents walking the streets, and within the crowd, Lucentio draws near Petrucio. Lucentio spots Petruchio and calls out to him, begging for his attention. Petrucio recognizes him as the Latin tutor in Baptista's house and offers his attention with curiosity. Lucentio offers Petrucio to take him somewhere to eat but refuses.

Down to business, Lucentio tries to trick Petrucio into believing there exists a beautiful maid who is waiting for him in the hospital, yearning to embrace Petrucio. Petrucio responds directly in saying he wishes to marry only Katherine for no other reason but the dowry Baptista promised. "This maiden hath more gold to own a country," Lucentio anxiously responded, "No shrewdness burns in her heart."

"But even that be true, I choose not heed thy words

For I hath made my mind to take Kate

As my bride. I saw you in Hortensio's way

To woo Bianca thus your presence must mean

You fail for you lack the will of man.

My mind is as strong as men come so I have

Whatever pleases me the most. Good day

To you Lucentio."

Lucentio pointlessly persists more until he realizes Petruchio will not listen to him. Petrucio exits stage right. Lucentio loses more confidence and views himself as a failure. He buys flowers from a nearby merchant planning to give them to Bianca as a symbol of apologizing. He exits stage right.


	3. Scene 3

Fast-forwarding to the post-wedding party of Katherina and Petruchio, Tranio, still disguised as Lucentio, and Bianca are seated next to each other, stage center left, by Baptista. After Baptista exits stage right, Tranio aims his sights on Bianca: his flirtatious comments do not charm her at heart but, looking at her options – the old Grumio and the mentally unattractive Hortensio – she dubiously plays along. Besides, she knows her father is old and her father wants her to have a husband before He asks her to dance and she accepts. Tranio, disguised as Lucentio, feels he has complete control until the real Lucentio enters the house center backstage. Lucentio falls under more shock to find Tranio, his student, has betrayed him.

Before Lucentio could approach Tranio, Baptista stops Lucentio saying he does not recognize him. Lucentio reminds him he was Bianca's Latin tutor but Baptista does not care – Lucentio was never invited. The two start to cause a commotion after Baptista calls for his guards; it is then Tranio, disguised as Lucentio, notices his teacher. In that moment, the two former friends looking eye-to eye at each other, the real Lucentio calls out: "imposter, heed the imposter. My name be Lucentio, not him."

"A madman speaks at me. A madman

And nothing more. Someone arrest him."

Lucentio wears a distraught expression as he pleads forgiveness. Seeing him in a sorrowful state, Bianca senses that he has a rational conscience and is sorry for his actions, and in knowing Tranio betrayed Lucentio, she concludes Tranio can't be trusted, she breaks away from Tranio's grip and calls out to the real Lucentio without hesitation. She strongly urges her father not to arrest the real Lucentio who is telling the truth. Baptista obeys his youngest daughter.

After leaving the crowded scene, Lucentio offers the flowers but Bianca smacks them away and kisses him instead. Looking at him firmly, Bianca says she still doesn't think she can trust him but will give him one more chance. After Lucentio takes the flowers to the hospital, he and Bianca plan their wedding day.


End file.
